I am not a big believer in new year resolutions. I kind of think they set people up to fail. For instance, my adult son told me the other day that he is planning to give up smoking, fast food, and soda. All at the same time. Uh …

I think many Americans aim a bit too high and have enormous expectations of themselves, all in the name of a fresh start. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, quit smoking, get more organized. But that doesn’t mean you have to make a sweeping change on the first day of the year, just because it’s the first day of the year. Baby steps.

That being said, I have decided that the new year might be a good time to set a few goals with my daughter. Goals that I know she can attain with my support, and ones that will contribute to our ultimate goal of her living an independent life. She is nine, and while she may not understand the concept of resolutions or the impact they can have, she sure does understand charts and stickers and hugs.

One thing I would like to help her with is her understanding of the passage of time. She is always asking me what day it is, what is happening today, what we will be doing tomorrow. She is a creature of habit and very much needs to know the agenda so she can prepare mentally, and more importantly, decide what toys she’s going to bring along.

I’ve purchased a desk-size calendar, which I’m going to hang on the side of the refrigerator. On it, I will write all of her activities, her weekends with her dad, and birthdays of friends and family. I’m going to have her cross off the current day at bedtime, so the next morning she’ll know what day it is, and what to expect for that day. I am hopeful this will help her feel like she’s got more control over her life.

The other goal is to help her take more responsibility for her things. Her bedroom is a mess most of the time. Toys, clothes, books, and the accroutements of her vast babydoll collection cover the floor. I have a good organization system in place in there, but I’m not good about making her use it. And without my nagging, she doesn’t take the initiative.

I have created a simple chore chart, with a handful of jobs that I know she can handle. Getting herself dressed for school, picking up her room and completing homework after school, setting the table at dinnertime. Things like that. And because she likes routine so much, I’m feeling like it will be a success — especially when she starts earning rewards such as a Redbox movie or a trip to the library when she has a few consecutive days of success.

When my daughter was born, and we learned that she has Down syndrome, I was terrified that she would live with me forever. I love her, but I want her to move out someday and live her own life. I believe these goals will help move her toward that end result, and will help her feel confident about her abilities.

Meanwhile, I will be trying to exercise a little more, cut back on my Diet Coke consumption, and watch far fewer episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Baby steps …